As a personal stylist with a clientele of 95% women, I see commonalities amongst all my clients regardless of age or socioeconomic background. Much of these commonalities would describe me at certain times in my life as well. Why is that so many women feel guilty in investing in themselves? Why do we feel we should do everything for everyone else but not ask for help ourselves? Why do we feel that self-care is sometimes a luxury that we couldn’t possibly afford or consider as it seems selfish or petty? As women we have been taught and have learned that to control the narrative of our lives, we must do things ourselves, sometimes often at the cost of our own sanity and joy.
These beliefs are deeply rooted, but we can change our thought process and outlook if we are willing to work at it. Hopefully my expertise will help you to understand that investing in yourself with your wardrobe is as important as your other investments to becoming the woman you truly want to be and be seen as. Our personal style journey is truly never over. As we age, evolve, and go through milestone transitions our style choices should often reflect this, but sometimes we get lost along the way. I often ask my clients when they call me, why are you here? What made you make this call? What are you goals here? How best can I help you? Below are the top reasons women seek my professional advice, and also why they waited so long to do so.
Reasons why women have hired me:
- I’m in a style rut and just no longer know what to wear
- I have a closet full of clothes but no idea on how to put outfits together
- I love shopping, but I still don’t have a wardrobe that works
- I’ve gained weight and have no idea how to dress for my body shape
- I’m starting to date again and forgot how to dress up
- I’m changing careers
- I’m moving states and don’t know how to dress for the climate where I’m going
What has held them back from doing this before:
- Embarrassed and ashamed that I can’t put it together
- Seems like too much of a luxury to hire a stylist
- Why spend money on it when I like to shop, I should be able to figure it out myself
- I don’t really care about fashion, but I want to look nice
- A stylist will probably make me feel worse about myself
- I don’t want or need to spend a lot of money on clothes
- My husband/friends won’t understand
The assumption is if you are a woman you must love to shop, and you probably buy new clothes all the time. Because you are a woman you are supposed to understand fashion, the new trends, the styles that are best for you and where to find them, oh, and always know where to shop for the sales. These are just false assumptions.
I can tell you most of my clients either dislike shopping, dislike trying to put outfits together, or both. It’s an innate skill that people have, or they don’t. It certainly can be learned and honed over time, but that effortlessly chic woman that you see all the time at school, work, or in your neighborhood, was most likely born like that. Sorry, it’s true. But you have a host of other skills that she may not. There is absolutely no shame in not getting it, or even caring about it. I wish I were a person who could speak several languages, and have it come relatively easy for me, but I am not. I’m also not motivated to learn online really so I would need to hire a tutor. I cannot really do my own hair, nor makeup, so when I have an event, I pay a professional to get both done.
Understanding our style, or what we would like our style to say about us, does not come easily to most. The information on social media is endless, the number of brands and emerging brands is confusing, the stores are overwhelming, understocked, and the service can be questionable at times, the magazines show us trends that we just must have, but do we really? It’s a lot of time, effort, and stress that goes into have a working wardrobe and a style that you love, so why not leave it to a professional. Trust an expert that can help you and guide you so that eventually all that emotional baggage of getting dressed goes away.
I have put together what I believe to be the most important Mindset Pillars in starting your own Personal Style journey. This is a DIY but remember if you have a hard time motivating yourself to get started or get stuck in the middle, I am a phone call away. My services can even be done virtually!
Mindset Pillars in starting your own Personal Style journey
1- Identify your challenges: can’t put outfits together (lack of creativity or vision) hate to shop, not happy with my body and or weight, I don’t know what looks good on my shape
2- Choose your style word/s that describe your style right now, and then the words that describe the style you want! (Casual, elegant, modern, chic, edgy, glamourous, artsy)
3- What do you want your style to say about you? i.e., confident, polished, professional, approachable, friendly, etc
4. Research styles, friends, influencers, look through IG, magazines, Pinterest for inspiration. Put together your vision board. This takes some time, but I promise your vision will start to come together and a lightbulb will go off!
4. Understand your body shape and how to best dress for it (refer to my master class or pdf)
5. Clean out your closet!! Most important job prior to shopping. You must know what you have and what you really want to keep, using your style words and your body shape guide! (insert closet cleanse blog post)
6. Now make a list of what you truly need to add to your wardrobe to create your personal style vision and only shop for those pieces. Give yourself a 3-hour window at the mall, small boutiques, or online. Do not look for anything else, NO DISTRACTIONS!
7. Start to build your wardrobe with pieces that are a mix of classic staples and some interesting pieces with colors and prints that flatter you.
8. You must have the right shoes and bags to pull your vision together. Do not skimp on this.
9. If you need another opinion, only get one from someone who’s style and advice you trust, someone who will tell you the truth….kindly☺
10. Start to put outfits together slowly with your new pieces using your vision board as your guide. Make 3-4 go to outfits for your work week, or evenings out. Takes pics. The following week make a few more outfit options and do this in small increments of time. Maybe set aside 20-30 minutes in your closet over the weekend before the week starts and you are too busy or tired☺
TIP: The earlier you start wearing your new pieces the more you will be comfortable in them and creating additional outfits with them. It takes training your mind, so you must start wearing them to make sure they truly suit you. If not, they need to go back!
TIP: Accessories are important but can be done last. They make the outfit more interesting but won’t break an outfit like a shoe or bag will.